The results of a boring Thursday night...

courtesy of Tyler...

My husband is funny, and here is why:

1. Car conversation on the way to work yesterday:
Me: "So, one pig made a house of bricks, then sticks, what did the third pig use? Hay?"
Tyler: "No, it was straw."
Me: "What an idiot pig, I mean, who would ever make a house out of straw."
Tyler, in all seriousness: "Well, a present day pig couldn't even build a house, so..." :) he's is so funny!

2. Last night we went to the grocery store to buy chips (I had the salsa) and donuts(.....), so we end up leaving with much more than that, of course. Oh-- and Tyler got an ice cream cone from the store to. As we are walking to our apartment with our hands and arms as full as possible, the question of "how are we going to get in without setting this stuff down?" I was holding the ice cream cone in my right hand and the keys, making it impossible to actually use the keys. I had no where to set the ice cream down. Tyler, noticing my dilema, says "just put it in my mouth" I look over like "yeeah right" and I pretend to give the ice cream cone to his mouth, and he actually encompasses the entire ice cream cone, to the brim, in his mouth. I started laughing so hard at how ridiculous it was that I think I became useless anyways.

I like Tyler. He is funny.

Three's a charm...skip if you hate reading, it's a novel.

I got tagged for the third time...it must be tagging season. Some of the questions are the same so I am going to make up my own questions that to take the places of the repetative questions:

1.Umm..question #1...well...oh-when you think of laughing really hard, what memory comes to mind?

Well, we were in math class our sophomore year and our teacher wasn't in the class room yet...she was in charge of some committee or something...we were used to waiting for her a little. Kim (or was in Jordan Pond)went up to sharpen her pencil in the electric pencil sharpener. It was a short little pencil and it would sit in the sharpener and make the noise, but you couldn't see the pencil, yes...why was kim still using that pencil, who knows...back to the story, we though it would be funny to leave the pencil in there and all sit like normal so when the teacher came in she would be like "what's that noise? there is no pencil in the sharpener" or something dumb like that. So, we are all sitting around talking with the noise of the pencil sharpener in the background. All of the sudden (suspenseful phrase) the sound stops...we all look around at each other and realize that the metal part of the pencil must have hit the blades...Kim and Jordan immediately shot-up out of there seats and ran to the sharpener, taking it apart as quick as possible to destroy the evidence before the Mrs. Leonard got back. They got the pencil out, reassembled the sharpener and did a test sharpen to make sure we all didn't break the machine. Broken, we couldn't get the thing to work at all. We were in a portable class room and the door was open, someone saw her coming, so Kim and Jordan destroy all the pencil-lead-finger-prints all over the paper that was sitting under the sharpener. Everyone runs to there seats...which sounds like "thump, thump, thump", since we were in a portable. Mrs. Leonard walks in the room and says "I heard you all running, what is going on?", "Nothing". So, knowing no one was going to say anything about what went on, she goes on with her preperations for her lesson. Class goes on for about 3 minutes as normal. As she is talking, she walks over and pulls a pencil out of her hair, takes a few more steps while everyone is thinking "no, she's not going to...". As she goes to place the pencil in the sharpener the whole class gasps, and I mean the whole class, even the gangsters in the back who never say a word were gasping. The pencil makes it to the sharpener and the minute it enters that little hole... the sound of a pencil sharpener appears. We all busted up laughing. We couldn't believe it. Meanwhile, Mrs. Leonard is confused and asking us why we all gasped and why we were all laughing. Kim, Jordan and I were laughing the hardest. I remember my back aching. Mrs. Leonard obviously noticed this and said if I didn't tell her what was so funny she would send me to detention...I called her bluff, not that I could have formed words at that moment anyway. I remember Lisa Walsh telling her I farted so that the class could proceed...what a cheap shot.

About a week went by and Kim and I were leaving math class and noticed that the sharpener was on the corner of her desk with the cord rolled around it. We innocently asked "what happened to the pencil sharpener?", "It just quit working, we are getting anew one." Kim comes up with a bright idea and asks, "Can I have it?" Apparently she wanted to add it to her growing collection of high school memorabilia, which she just got rid of (see kim's blog for details). Mrs. Leonard gets a peculiar look on her face and says, "...No...". We left before nay more questions could be asked. I think we confessed the last day of high school. Maybe this story isn't funny to most. Odds are if you don't personally know Jordan Pond, you won't think it is that funny. Saying Jordan Pond's name in any story adds a comedic element you can't find anywhere else.

2. 5 things on my to do list:

1. Get my taxes ready...ugh


2. Clean my house


3. Do the laundry


4. Figure out what I am making for dinner, since I forgot to defrost some meat...again


5. Get Tyler's jeans fixed...they hemmed them too long:(...the life of short people, that's us)

3. Umm... let's see...what is your favorite thing about your job?

That's easy, that I get access to a computer all day and I can do stuff like this when there is no work to be done...I like the crazy "mama bear" type stories too...I have been warned about bikini season...that should be fun.

4. Another one...well...What is your most embarassing moment? (I hate this question...but I am desperate)

My most embarassing would have to do with accidently texting someone something...but I don't want to share that story publically...still wounded (not really) So, I will share a funny-now-not-at-the-time story: I was eating at wings express with Tyler and there was this wing that was winking at me and wanting me to eat it...it looked more delicious than the rest...so my excitement was high as I picked up this particular wing...I took a bite and low and behold, what do you think happened next? Nothing other than a wing sauce in the eye...yep, wing sauce just flung up there and landed perfectly in my eye...it was like straight tobasco sauce. I was squinting and mad and squinting some more...about 5 second after this happens I take a drink...and CHOKE! The worst choking I have ever had...I was coughing like crazy and squinting and wiping and trying to breathe and by the time the choking had come to a close I had that look on my face of "I feel like dying I am so misserable"...you should have seen Tyler's face. Pure sympathy. It all happened so quickly he hadn't even said anything yet. I was embarassed...though Tyler always tells me that I shouldn't be because it was the customers at "wings express" that witnessed it. Anyhow, it was a moment.

5. 5 places I have lived:

1. Mesa, Az (lemon st)


2. Mesa, AZ (Cicero...yep)


3. Mesa, AZ (Delta cir.)


4. Mesa, AZ (Nassau)


5. Provo...Utah...

6. 5 jobs I have had:

1. I made things and sold them in a salon once.


2. Assistant to a Learning Disabled class at Keller Elem.


3. Assistant to a Kindergarten class at Lincoln Elm.


4. Office Manager/Bookkeeper at dear old Hometrend Property Mgmt.


5. I think my title is "Assistant to the Manager" at another mgmt. company...but it's a lower title than my last job...not sure how that happened.

7. 3 Random things about me:

Yes, this question again...luckily I have a lot of weird things about me.

1. I am addicted to making things. I don't buy a lot of stuff when I go shopping because I think "I could make that myself", which I never actually do, but I could. That's the point. Oh, and I started an online store on Etsy...but it's not ready yet...be patient...I know you all are dying to buy everything I make:)


2. I love the color orange. A lot of people hate orange...but I have always liked it...maybe it started though when my jr. high crush always wore an orange shirt...no, that would be ridiculous. Right, Alisse?


3. You know that toe right next to the big toe, well, I can isolate it and make it move all by itself. Oh, and I can wiggle both ears, one at a time or together, and I can do the wave with my eyebrows, and wiggle my nose like a bunny rabbit...and I am good at mimiking peoples voices, like this particular old woman in my mom's ward, or people I work with...I do it subconciously, I have a voice for most people, it just comes out when I say "and so&so said" and that my voice automatically transfers to so&so's voice. It's probably not a good habit to have.

And I tag:

Kelly, Melissa, and Alisse, Ha!

Story Time

I work at a lovely place where we get to hear about and fix other peoples problems, and often times get blamed for there problems just because we collect there rent. Here is a prime example of the types of problems we deal with, and I am sure just one of the many to come.

In one of the 3 bedroom condos we manage (rented out by room, might I add) there lived this girl, we shall call her...Nancy...Nancy has some form of Metal Poisioning. Therefore she has to keep her condo at a temperature of 72 degrees or higher in order to not feel really sick. Her roommates can't sleep at night because, apparently, Nancy turns the thermostat to higher than her minimum because it makes her feel better. As roommates struggle with being sympathetic and still trying to be comfortable all at once, Nancy's mother and father get involved.

One night, when no one was home, Nancy's parents decided to enter there daughter's condo (they had a copy of the keys) and enter into Suzy's(another roommate) bedroom and place tin foil on the inside of Suzy's vent so that all the hot air would go into Nancy's room instead. So smart...right. So, Suzy finds out that Nancy's parents entered her room without permission. Nancy's mom and Suzy have a little chat that involved a threat that sounds a bit like this "Suzy, I am a mama bear and I will stop at nothing to protect my cub." No exaggeration. She just earned herself a nickname. Basically, Suzy asks to be released from her contract because the mama bear threatened her, wish granted. And what was mama bear's excuse for entering Suzy's room without permission? "I am a realter." Oh...right...so that means that you can enter anyone's rental without permission because you have a realestate license...that makes sense. Byu gets involved, etc.

Lara, my boss/manager, asks Nancy if she could come in the office yesterday so they could talk and figure some things out. Lara's prediction was correct, mama bear walked in with Nancy to make the appointment. Lara mentioned in the meeting that mama bear kept saying things like "I am a mama bear" and "Look at my daughter, she looks sick, she is sick, look at her." After the meeting, mama bear and Nancy were talking to one of the front office personel and she says, and I quote...I was a witness "I am a mama bear, " as she pulled her claws up to her face and growled, "I drive better on a broom stick than anyone I know." Something to be proud of.

I am ever so glad she is not my mama bear.

Look Ma, No Tears!

A s some of you know, my eyes are very sensitive to onions. Like this one time Kim and I were throwing a Christmas party and I was bringing chili and I was all ready for the evening, I cut the onion to put into the chili and after the onion I literally looked like I just found out someone died. I had to re-do my whole face! So, this tends to be a problem with me, especially because Tyler loves onions...and I love to eat them...but cutting is another thing. I have tried to think of remedies, etc. My mom came up with this idea of wearing chemistry goggles. She liked the idea so much she said that I should dress them up a bit and send them to mass production to be sold. What a hit! So, last night I was making that chili pasta skillet I had mentioned before (ps--I edited the recipe down below...sorry if you made it and your family was all "this is horrible"...it's better now), and I was debating on whether or not the onion was necessary. Most likely because of Tyler's love for onions, he walked in the kitchen with chemistry goggles!!! He even tightened them for my little head, what a sweet guy!

Here is me at the beginning of my experiment...wish me luck...

It worked! Look Ma, no tears!!!

Tagged again, this time by Tilleea

So, I answer the questions...then tag three people.



1. How long have you and your husbad been together?

Dated 7 months, married almost 7 months..whoah.



2. Who eats more?

No contest...Tyler. But I could kick his trash in a pickle eating contest!



3. Who pays the bills?

I work full time and do the bookkeeping while Tyler goes to school full-time. But he works a little too!



4. Who cooks dinner?

Me.



5. Who is more stubborn?

He thinks I am and I think he is, probably because we are both so equally stubborn that we can't admit we are more stubborn than the other.



6. Who kissed who first?

He kissed me...on Kelli Bradshaws front door step. We laugh every time we go over to Kelli's.



7. Who is more sensitive?

Oh wow! Me! Hands down! I am stubborn and sensitive! What a combo. Tyler is such a trooper.



8.Who wears the pants?

I let Tyler wear them:)



9. What was I doing 10 years ago?

Hmmm. I was a beehive at the ripe old age of 13. I was probably sitting on Joe's corner waiting for "the guys" to walk by...or maybe in Kim's basement making art...whatever it was, it was with Kim, I know that for sure. We were inseperable.



10. What would I do if I was suddenly a billionaire?

Huh...well... typical answer...put away money to get Tyler through med-school debt free, buy a house, and fly home once a month to see my family (and Kim...who practically is family). And then when Tyler is out of med-school and my kids are a little older, we would all travel together. I would take care of my parents...I would take up my dad's suggestion of letting him and my mom live in a house in the backyard if he promises to mow our lawn. I would help out people and family. I would donate to charity...I think that would be fun. I would buy a cute little building and have some kind of shop...not sure what kind. And I would buy myself a Nissan Maxima right away...a white one.



11. 3 bad habits:

1. I have a tendency to make "piles" of clothes in my bedroom and not get laundry done as often as I should. I blame it on a need for quarters and that it's too cold outside to carry laundry to the laundry room. Neither of those excuses hold up anymore...so...I guess I will have to do my laundry now...


2. I sleep in too much. Getting up in the morning is the hardest thing for me to do. Ugh. Therefore I am always under the gun for time...not worth it, but I never learn my lesson.


3. I don't make my bed that often...probably because of the previous bad habits. Both contribute I think...darn! Time to turn over a new leaf!

12. What snacks do I enjoy?

Well, pickles, chips and salsa, vanilla breyer's ice cream with hot fudge, and cookies.

13. 5 things people don't know about me:

1. I like owls. No sure why. I have always liked them, but I have recently decided to aknowledge that. I think I like birds in general, not real birds, I wouldn't go bird seeing or anything, but like artistic birds. Everytime I ever got an idea for a painting it always involved a bird or a tree...


2. I hate getting ready for bed or changing my clothes. I guess I could chalk that up to laziness. When I was in elementary school I would sleep in my clothes sometimes. Pathetic...I know


3. I can hardly swallow a pill because I have a horribly sensitive gag reflex. Sometimes dishes and cleaning are really hard for me because of this problem I have. And actually, it has improved since high school. I gagged in the middle of class once because we were watching a movie and a nurse checked this kids toncels with the wooden stick. I gagged. Embarrassing. Ask Kim, she knows all about my gagging stories.


4. I am really stern at work. The tenants don't like me because I don't let them get away with there lies and excuses. I feel kind of harsh sometimes...but I am good at my job because of it. Since I started working there, we collected more latefees in the last month than we did in the past 3 months combined that I didn't work there. Booya! That means a bigger Christmas bonus.


5. I dance and sing when I am by myself...I can't help it. I have dance fever. Tyler has never even witnessed it. Jill--I think you are the only one who has, really. Remember the Thrills in the kitchen...good times...good times. Oh, and I like really gay songs, like "silly love songs" by Paul McCarntey. They are happy! And I like old-school Elton John and Jim Croce, and even Paul Simon...you don't have to respond...I would actually prefer if you didn't. Except for Jill...you can respond because I know we are in the same boat here...not to rat you out or anything...

And I tag... um....Jill, Karen and Kim...HA!

Recipe Tag:

Shiloh tagged me. Here it goes:

1. ITALIAN CHICKEN

(the easiest recipe ever)

Chicken breasts or teners (as many as suits your needs)

Wishbone Italian Dressing

Worchestershire Sauce

Butter

Thyme

S & P

Place chicken in a baking dish. Poor Italian dressing over chicken (you can be generous). Add Worchestershire sauce until dressing is browner. Add a small piece of butter on top of each piece of chicken. Season with salt and pepper and I use Thyme too, but no one else in my family does...either way. Bake in oven at 350 for ...about 30-40 minutes, until chicken is cooked through.

2.CHILI PASTA SKILLET

(This one is kind of tentative...I improvised because I didn't want to make homemade chili Ans I only made it once..but it was AMAZING! Go with you gut on the directions...)

1 can/jar of your favorite chili (we use Busch's)

1 lb ground meat (depending on if you have a meaty chili or not)

Chopped onion, to your liking

1/2 cup elbow macaroni ( I do more)

1/2 cup shredded cheese

1 can diced tomatoes (optional)

In a large skillet brown meat and onions. Season with salt and pepper. Drain grease. Stir in chili, diced tomatoes and macaroni ( you may need to add a little water to make sure there is enough liquid to steam the noodles). Bring to a boil; reduce heat. Simmer, covered about 20 minutes or until macaroni is tender, stirring often. Remove from heat and sprinkle with cheese.

3.THE INFAMOUS GRAPE SALAD

3 lb. seedless grapes (green or red, or both)

8 oz. Sour Cream

8 oz. Cream Cheese

8 oz. Whipped Cream

3 Tbsp. lemon juice

1 1/2 c. powdered sugar

Whip softened cream cheese, sour cream and whipped topping together. Add lemon juice and powdered sugar and beat until smooth. Stir in grapes. Chill.

4.CARAMEL APPLE SALAD

4-6 Snickers candy bars

4-6 Granny Smith apples

8 oz. Kool Whip

3 oz. pkg. dry instant vanilla pudding

Smash frozen candy bars in wrappers with HAMMER (how violent, grandma Hill) Mix ingredients together. Cool.

Oh..yeah...and I tag Meg, Tilleea, and Auburn. Sorry if you don't feel like doing it...but I want your recipes so DEAL! :)